me with lowercase letters...yes that's how I've been feeling lately. So with blogging I have the problem of wanting to document and write about what's going on but at the same time I still want to keep my life somewhat private. I think that I don't let people really get to know me and my thoughts, I mean if you post it then everyone will know. I'm just not sure I'm ok with this. Do people really care enough to really get to know you. I would say most people don't. Anyways I've been reflecting a lot these past weeks. I feel like I've been so focused on being a mom, a wife, a teacher, with my callings and everything else that I have no idea who I really am and what I like. Of course all of the above define me, but deep down who am I and what drives me? So totally going out of my comfort zone, here is some things that I have figured out the past week:
I need to feel loved
I hate/love to run
I like it when people are honest
I am not a patient person
I like soda
I like to buy things
I can solve problems-ok only sometimes
I like frozen chocolate chips
I like potatoes
I don't have many close friends, but the ones I do have are invaluable to me, even though I don't show it-like not returning phone calls
I will not really tell you how I'm doing if you ask-unless you really care and want to know
I am not as strong as I thought I was
I like to get my hair cut
There you go. That felt kinda good to write it all down. Well these past few weeks have been sucky, no more like crappy, like some throws a load of bricks on you and when you try to get up they keep flying and there's no way to dodge them. Do I want to talk about it? No. How am I doing? Well, if you ask me I'll say fine, truthfully though terrible. Will it get better? I hope so. Is there anything you can do? Be a friend and a shoulder to cry on.
That's all. I feel so exposed now. Weird. Hopefully no more posts like this.
It's great to see you being so exposed and honest. I have a hard time doing that as well. I tend to paint this perfect picture of our life on my blog and I don't really post about my daily struggles...but they are there as well!! I have really enjoyed talking to Falon and we have built a great friendship and I wanted you to know I am always here if you ever need to talk. I'm sure we deal with some similar issues as we both try to survive life with 2 kids now, so email me anytime!!! Love you Brooke!
ReplyDeleteHi Brooke. Thanks for commenting on my blog. My jeans are from the Buckle. I think they have the best fitting jeans hands down. Plus the staff gets paid commision so they wait on your hand and foot. They are by far the best store to shop at. Little pricey but seriously one of my favorite stores.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to your post it is hard to let yourself be exposed on the blogosphere. I can definitely relate. Life can just get hard at times and you feel defeated. It's hard to remember what makes you happy and that you're not just a mom and wife. I'm right there with you on people asking "how are you". most times I feel as though it's just something to say where there is nothing else to say. It's nice when someone does actually care how you are.
Brooke, This was the best post! Thank you for sharing. I have had a pretty crappy last couple of months and seem to have gone down this roller coaster too. I have found though the more I share the easier it gets because I find people who have gone through the things I go through and can relate on a sincere level. By the way when I ask "How are you" or "Hows it going" I really do want to know.. otherwise I just wouldn't talk to the person LOL
ReplyDeleteI think it's really brave of you to post your feelings on here, I don't know if I could do it. But I love you sis...and I'm always here for you. glad we've gotten to hang out a bit more lately :) I'm excited to check out all of your website deals!!
ReplyDeleteYou would be surprised how many woman feel this exact same way. I have many 'friends' but no one close that I would spill my guts out to. I take comfort knowing that my husband (while he is the source of some of the problems) knows how I feel and I can tell him anything. It isn't the same as having a close girl friend though. Being a Mom is difficult. It is so time consuming and not so rewarding at times. You get lost in the day to day chores and making sure your family has what they need and that doesn't leave time to for anything you used to enjoy. Just remember that you aren't alone and maybe try talking to your husband more about anything. That is what has helped me and in return he has tried to give me some 'me' time too.
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